Thranduil's Extreme Fashion Makeovers
by SloTurtle Corp
Summary: From the makers of 'Reading Corner With Gandalf Greyham' and 'Bert's Cooking Show' comes a show unlike any other. Join the fabulous King Thranduil as he gives tips on trends and fashion, as well as giving the dreary inhabitants of Middle Earth new looks. *This is an interactive show, as we do read fanmail(reviews) on set. We enjoy granting suggestion or requests, so don't be shy*
1. Pilot

**This is in no way meant to offend any characters, OTPS, ships, fanons, fandoms, original characters, etc. I hold my readers' mental state above anything else- except cookies. This fiction is meant strictly for your entertainment and thou are not allowed to brood whilst gazing upon it with thine vision spheres, dude.**

 **Haha, but seriously man, do go being sad while reading this. Be happy. Listen to Three Little Birds or something, I dunno.**

* * *

Sam: "Good evening and welcome to the pilot episode of Thranduil's Extreme Fashion Makeovers! As you know, I've produced a couple of shows that have been successful- one of which is still airing! In this series, the host Thranduil will be taking 'drab and common' folk and turn them into fashion icons! I suppose it'd be best for you to get to know said host better, so here he is- Thranduil!"

Thranduil: "That's _King_ Thranduil to you, Halfling.' *claps hands together enthusiastically* "But yes, I am to be showing you how to be as fabulous as I, the ruler of the woodland elves- the most dominant race."

Sam: *Rolls eyes*

Thranduil: "I will tell you about myself. My name is Thranduil, I hate dwarves with a passion, I have two sons one of them is a disappointment, my moose is fantastic, and I collect tiaras for my lovely golden locks. If that satiates your hunger for knowledge about me, let's get on with the rest of the show shall we?  
Our first subject is this _ungodly_ specimen."

Aragorn: "I'm sorry?"

Thranduil: "Oh, don't worry little human. It's not your fault that you're filthy and undesirable."

Aragorn: "Sam, what am I doing here?"

Sam: "Don't ask me. SloTurtle asked her brother to name a character out of the blue and he replied with your name. Apparently, moving onto other shows does not mean that the fourth wall won't be destroyed. What a shame... we just got it plastered and repainted."

Thranduil: "Right. I'm not going to ask. As for the filth, I shall return momentarily with his new look and some tips."

* * *

Enjoying the show? Check out other shows produced by Hobbit productions and Written by SloTurtle. Need cooking advice? Head over to Bert the Troll's cooking show! Wondering if a book is worth reading? Check out Reading Corner with Gandalf Greyham! Now back to the regularly scheduled programming.

* * *

Thranduil: "And here he is! Aragorn, King of Gondor!"

*curtain lifts to reveal a clean and well groomed Aragorn with sunglasses, plaid shirt, slacks, and a vest on.*

Aragorn: "I hate you so much right-"

Audience: *screams* "We love you!" "So handsome!" "Have my babies!" "I want his shoes!"

Thranduil: "You're welcome. The hardest part for this project was getting his hair untangled. I tried washing it, soaking it in conditioner for hours- even mayonnaise, all of which made his hair very soft and shiney. I eventually trimmed it so to get rid of the fuss. If you're going to have long hair, you're going to have to learn how to take care of it like moi."

Announcer: "That's it for the pilot of Thranduil's Extreme Fashion Makeovers! We hope to see you all next time, Announcer out!"

* * *

 **A/n  
** **I have been waiting SO long to do this. I've finally mustered the energy to do this. What do you expect? I'm a teenager with access to electronics, it's not unheard of for me to procrastinate and get distracted!**

Concerning the reviews, I do hope they are positive. I will handle this like many shows on television. If I get a large enough response to this I may just make it longer than a pilot.

 **Ever so lovingly,**

 **~SloTurtle**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is in no way meant to offend any characters, OTPS, ships, fanons, fandoms, original characters, etc. I hold my readers' mental state above anything else- except cookies. This fiction is meant strictly for your entertainment and thou are not allowed to brood whilst gazing upon it with thine vision spheres, dude.**

Haha, but seriously man, don't go being sad while reading this. Be happy. Listen to Three Little Birds or something, I dunno.

* * *

Thranduil: "Hello, viewers. I am back to give you the information you need to be as fabulous as I."

Audience: *applause*

Thranduil: "Our subject today is-"

SloTurtle: *drops from ceiling* "JOHN CENA!"  
*trumpet SFX*

JOHN CENA: *rips shirt off and flexes*

Thranduil: "You didn't."

SloTurtle: "I did. I got help choosing this one as well."

Thranduil: "Ugh, do I have to?"

SloTurtle: "You signed a contract~!"

Thranduil: *sighs* "Fine."

SloTurtle: "Squeee!"

Thranduil: "Let's just get this over with."

* * *

Thranduil: "NO, JOHN! STAY!"

*Thranduil is fumbling around, trying to get John to stay still*

JOHN CENA: "I don't _want_ a shiiiiiiirt."

Thranduil: "Just hold still and stop complaining!"

Thorin: *throws foldup chair onto stage* "Hit him with the chair!"

Thranduil: "Nonono, don't you da-"  
*CLANG!

Audience: "Ooo." *winces*

Announcer: "That's gonna leave a mark. Let's see if he recovers, next time on Thranduil's Extreme Fashion Makeovers!"

* * *

 **A/n  
Don't ask just- seriously don't. I have no idea what this is.  
**

 **Sincerely,**

 **~SloTurtle**


End file.
